


You Play Me, Now I Play You Too

by SallyWhite92



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, Kissing, Pining, Platonic Kissing, Teasing, how many foxes can judy kiss?, the answer is three aparently, this is just pure crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 09:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8440780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SallyWhite92/pseuds/SallyWhite92
Summary: With both Nick and Gideon vying for her affections, Judy goes to Finnick for advice. But instead of making things easier for her, he just makes them more complicated--and she's determined to make him pay! aka: the crack fic no one asked for





	

**Author's Note:**

> once again, this is alandcapon's fault. this started out as a joke earlier today and then it escalated into something i couldn't get out of my head. i thought it was funny so i wrote it. i also just wanted an excuse to write about kisses without any real romance attached to them. i'm sorry if it's not your thing, i thought it was funny so i wrote it.

“What are you having?”  
  
“Ugh.”  
  
“Flopsy?”  
  
“Ugh!”  
  
“Ya know, I can’t order you a drink unless you tell me what you want.”  
  
Judy groaned once more before lifting her head from the bar to look at the bar tender. “Gimme a rum and coke. With mostly rum. Please.” Then she let her forehead drop back down on the wooden bar with another groan. “I need alcohol.”  
  
“I’m workin’ on it.” She felt Finnick pat her back before he ordered himself a drink. The familiarity of the act made her smile a bit.  
  
This had become a weekly occurrence for them, on Thursdays after Judy got off work she would meet Finnick at a bar of her choice and he would order them drinks as they chatted and caught up. The smaller fox had been bitter with her at first for taking his hustling partner away from him, but after she had helped him get a job at a local bar he had started to warm up to her. The fact that they could exchange embarrassing stories about Nick probably helped, too.  
  
“So. What’s going on now?” She lifted her head to see the fennec looking at her, his chin resting on his paw. “Did Wilde get you in trouble again at work?”  
  
“No, it’s not that.” Their drinks were slid in front of them and they thanked the bar tender. Judy took a hefty sip of hers before speaking again. “Gideon’s been hanging out with us and I thought everything was going fine, that they were getting along. But last weekend we all went out together and now they won’t stop glaring at each other again.” She huffed and glared into her drink. “I thought they were getting over this.”  
  
Finnick listened, sipping his drink as he nodded. He waited until she looked at him to speak. “So what did you do?”  
  
She sputtered and glared at him. “Why is it my fault??”  
  
He rolled his eyes as he took another sip of his drink. “C’mon, Flopsy, you know that the only thing they fight over is you.” He fixed her with a look. “So, what did you do? Did you fuck one of them?”  
  
“What?? No!” She slapped his arm, which only made him laugh. “Why do you always go there?”  
  
“For that exact reaction.” He grinned as he rested his chin on his paw. “So c’mon, tell me, what did you do?”  
  
“Nothing like that, get your mind out of the gutter.” She looked down into her glass again, running one finger sheepishly along the rim. “I may or may not have kissed them.”  
  
“Both of them?”  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
“The same night??”  
  
“Look, I was drunk, okay?” She pouted at him, eyes narrowed. “I know it was poor judgement on my part, but I didn’t think it would cause this much of a rift between them.”  
  
“I know you’re smarter than that, Judes.” Finnick downed the rest of his drink and she followed suit, ordering a more fruity drink for herself as he ordered some whiskey. Then they turned back to each other. “Look, they’re both crazy about you. At some point you might have to choose one of them.”  
  
“But I don’t want to,” she whined, flopping herself onto the bar.  
  
“You think you can just solve this problem by swinging for a threesome?”  
  
“FINNICK!!” She shot up, feeling her ears turn bright red.  
  
“What? I’m just sayin’.” He shrugged, holding his paws up. “C’mon, Flopsy! It’d make all our lives easier if you three just got along!” He smirked at her. “And what better way to get along than spit roatin’ a bunny.”  
  
“Oh my god, we are not talking about this.” She turned away from him, her ears still hot. Luckily their drinks came at that time and she tried to cool herself down by taking a long sip of her fruity cocktail. Damn, that was good. She could still feel Finn’s eyes on her though, so she huffed and stared own at the grain in the wood. “Besides, I don’t think they would want to sleep together.”  
  
“Eh, you’re probably right.” The fennec shrugged and took a sip of his whiskey before grinning at her again. “But you have thought about it, right?”  
  
She groaned and thumped her head on the bar again. “You’re supposed to be helping me!”  
  
“You totally have! Holy shit!” He burst into loud laughter, slamming his fist on the bar a few times.  
  
She tried to shush him, all too aware of some of the stares they were getting from the other patrons in the bar. Judy glared at her friend, puffing out her cheeks. “You can be such an ass sometimes, you know that?”  
  
Finn’s laughter finally quieted down to just low chuckles as he grinned at her. “C’mon, Officer Toot Toot, lighten up. Besides, there’s no need to be ashamed. Everyone has thought about having a threesome at some point.”  
  
“We’re not talking about this.”  
  
“C’mon, Flopsy—”  
  
“NO, Finnick.”  
  
“Aw, you’re no fun.”  
  
“So I’ve been told.” She sighed as she looked at her drink, stirring it with the provided straw. “What should I do?”  
  
“Well, who was the better kisser?”  
  
“Well…neither of them, really.” She made a face. “Maybe it was because I was drunk, but I don’t remember the kisses being anything too fantastic. They were kind of…bland.” She shrugged as she looked over at him, starting when she saw the thoughtful look on his face. It made her feel self-conscious, and she brushed her ears back. “What? What’s that look for?”  
  
The fennec didn’t say anything, just leaned towards her. She tensed as he reached out one paw to grip her chin, pulling her towards him. Then he tilted his head and pressed his mouth to hers.  
  
She froze. Her ears shot up and she felt the fur on the back of her neck and her arms stand up. His thumb pulled her bottom lip down a bit and suddenly his tongue was in her mouth and _oh wow_! She felt dizzy and she forgot how to breathe.  
  
Then it was over just as suddenly as it had began. Finnick let go of her chin as his mouth left hers, and he sat back in his seat and took a drink. “Hm.”  
  
Judy sputtered, both her ears and her face feeling hot now as she lifted a paw to her lips, trying to comprehend what had just happened. “Wh-what was that for??”  
  
He shrugged, taking another drink. “I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.”  
  
She huffed at him, crossing her arms over her chest. “And?”  
  
He shrugged again. “I’ve had better.”  
  
She reeled back like she had been shot, glaring at him. “Excuse me??”  
  
He side-eyed her, a stupid grin on his muzzle. “Sorry, Flopsy, but the reason those kisses were so bland might have been because of you.”  
  
Her paw shot to grab his shirt, pulling him close so that they were almost nose to nose. She glared at him, her nostrils flaring. “You wanna run that by me again, small fry?”  
  
The fennec quickly raised his paws again, trying to placate her. “I’m just being honest. It’s alright, not everyone can be great at kissing.”  
  
She snorted, her eyes narrowing even more now if that was possible. She took that as a challenge. “Kiss me again.”  
  
He blinked at her, clearly not having expected that. “What?”  
  
“Kiss me again. I wasn’t ready, you caught me off-guard.”  
  
He pried her paws off of his shirt, giving her an exasperated look. “I’m not going to kiss you again.”  
  
“Why not??”  
  
“You’re not my type.”  
  
“But you just kissed me!”  
  
“Yeah, and now I wish I hadn’t.”  
  
“C’mon, Finn.” She batted her eyelashes at him, trying to put on her most sultry look. “For me?”  
  
His eyes studied her for a moment before he responded. “No.”  
  
“Well, why not?” She put her paws on her hips. “Am I not good enough for you?”  
  
“I didn’t say that. You’re just not my type, Flopsy, that’s all.” He downed the rest of his whiskey before slapping some bills on the bar. “I gotta head out, got some errands to run.” He hopped off the bar stool.  
  
“Are you seriously not going to kiss me again?” She glared at him, offended by his reaction. Was he really just going to ignore her?  
  
“I keep telling you, sweetheart.” He glanced up at her. “You’re cute, but you’re not my type.”  
  
“Don’t call me cute.” She downed her cocktail and jumped down, trailing beside him as he walked out of the bar. “So what is your type?”  
  
He seemed to consider her question as he led her to his van, opening up the passenger door for her. “I like ‘em tall.”  
  
“I’m taller than you!” She set her paws on her ships, tapping her foot.  
  
“Taller than you, Flopsy.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Now get in so I can take you home. I got things to do.”  
  
She huffed and went to get in, but then turned around and got into his face. “Mark my words, Finnick, I WILL get you to kiss me again.” As she climbed into the van she heard him sigh before he closed the door behind her. She grinned to herself, a plan already forming in her head.

* * *

“Carrots, what the hell are you doing?”  
  
Judy jerked, nearly dropping her phone from where she held it above herself. She looked over her shoulder to see Nick staring at her from the other side of their cubicle. She shrugged, sending the text she’d been typing out before setting her phone down and turning back to her computer. “Nothing.”  
  
“Are you sending selfies to Finn again?”  
  
“That’s none of your business.”  
  
She heard the fox huff and his feet hit the floor. Suddenly her chair was whirled around and she stared up at him, violet looking into green. He looked annoyed. “What’s been going on with you two lately? You’re always texting him and sending him pictures, and every time I hang out with him, he just—he just gives me this look and it’s really annoying.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Did something happen between you?”  
  
“Why do you want to know?” she shot back at him, sitting up so that she could get into his face. “Are you jealous?”  
  
“And what if I am?” He leaned closer to her, their noses almost touching now. Her heart sped up and she felt the insides of her ears turning pink. “What are you gonna do about it?”  
  
She could kiss him. It would have been easy, she knew. Just tilt her head up and let her lips touch his. He would let her, would welcome it even. But…what Finnick had said about her kissing skills stuck with her, making her suddenly feel bashful. She turned her face away from the fox, brushing her ears back. “…nothing.”  
  
She could practically feel the disappointment coming off of him in waves, but he backed away from her, turning and going back to his desk. Before he started typing she heard him say, “Well, whatever it is, work it. It’s starting to get really weird.”  
  
“I’m trying,” she grumbled, glaring at her phone as Finn texted back.  
  
**[Finn] cute. but still not my type.**

* * *

“Mizz Judy? Is everything okay?”  
  
Judy looked up at Gideon, who stared at her with concerned blue eyes from behind the counter in his shop. He stepped out from behind it, mugs of steaming apple cider in each of his paws. He handed her one, and she smiled her thanks at him before taking a drink. God, that was good. He continued to stare at her and she realized that he was waiting for an answer.  
  
“Everything is fine.” It wasn’t. She had been trying to get Finnick to let her kiss him again for the past week to no avail. His comment about her kissing had really burned her and she wanted nothing more than to prove him wrong. But nothing she tried seemed to work.  
  
He didn’t look like he believed her, but he didn’t push her on it. Instead he sat down by her, reaching over to take her paw in his. “Y’know, if anything is bothering ya, you can talk to me about it.” He gave her a paw a squeeze, giving her an almost shy smile. “I’m pretty good at listenin’.”  
  
Her heart skipped a beat and she felt warm, and she knew that it wasn’t from the cider. She squeezed his paw back. “I know. Thank you, Gid.”  
  
He gave her a bright smile. “It’s my pleasure, Mizz Judy.”  
  
Her phone went off, breaking the moment. She pulled her paw out of his and flicked her phone on, and frowned.  
  
**[Finn] keep tryin, flopsy. it aint happenin.**

* * *

“No.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“I’ve told you why not.”  
  
“It’s not a good reason!”  
  
“Flopsy.”  
  
“Finn.”  
  
The fennec sighed and ran a paw over his face. “You’re being ridiculous.”  
  
“And you’re being unreasonable!” She planted her paws on her hips, glaring at him. “You’ve already done it once, what’s one more time?”  
  
“Too much.” He waved at someone and she looked over her shoulder to see Nick and Gideon walking towards them. She and Finnick were standing outside of a restaurant, having made plans to have dinner, all four of them.  
  
She looked back at him, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m really not asking for much, you know.”  
  
“Oh my god, Flopsy!” Finn groaned and rubbed his muzzle. “You really aren’t going to let his go, are you?”  
  
“Nope!” She grinned at him. “I’m determined to seduce you with my feminine wiles.”  
  
“Ha!” He laughed in her face, smirking at her. “Who are you and what have you done with my Flopsy? Hello, Officer Hopps, are you in there?” He reached up and tugged on her ear, making her frown. “Look, sweetheart, I keep telling you, you aren’t my type. I don’t wanna fuck you.”  
  
“I don’t want you to fuck me! I just want you to kiss me! Because I _am_ a good kisser!” She waved her arms at her sides. “You caught me off guard last time, of course it was bad!”  
  
“I didn’t say it was bad—”  
  
“It sure sounded like it.”  
  
He sighed and shook his head before fixing her with a look. “Look, if I kiss you again, will you shut up about this?”  
  
She nodded eagerly, her eyes wide and her ears straight up. “And if you admit that I’m a good kisser.”  
  
“I never said you weren’t.”  
  
“Shouldn’t you find out for yourself?”  
  
He rolled his eyes but reached up. Instead of taking her chin like last time, he wrapped one arm around her waist and dipped her down, making her squeak as she suddenly had to look up at him. He smirked at her, taking her chin in his paw and leaning down. This time, she was ready.  
  
She met him half way, pressing her lips to his with probably a little too much eagerness. He didn’t let that phase him, instead tilting his head to deepen the kiss a little. She was able to match his lips movements this time, opening her mouth a little more for him as her paws reached up to scratch at the base of his ears. He let out an appreciative grumble at her actions, his paw on her back rubbing slow circles through her shirt.  
  
Then they pulled away from each other, out of breath and grinning. “So?” she asked, her nose twitching with excitement.  
  
“Much better.” He patted her head before pulling her to her feet. “But you’re still not my type.”  
  
“I can live with that.” She smiled and pecked his cheek before turning to look at the red foxes standing not far from them. She giggled when she saw that their mouths were agape. “Tell you what, boys. I’ll date whoever can learn to kiss me like that.” She nodded then turned around to skip into the restaurant.  
  
She heard Finn bark with laughter, “Good luck with that!”

**Author's Note:**

> do i ship it? i don't know. i just like the thought of Finn being so nonchalant about this kind of thing while Judy takes it too seriously. i hope this made you laugh, because it makes me laugh.


End file.
